I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
