so explain again why im purple
no
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
