there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
