If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How does one acquire holy water?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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