hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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