More tranny stories later!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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