xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
