You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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