i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
