would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
