All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
