Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize