I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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