Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
