There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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