The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Every concussion has its silver lining
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Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize