oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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