nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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