I can tuck mytits in my pants
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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