I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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