So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize