dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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