You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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