Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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