singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
they're like a gay fantastic four
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
