So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
