are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
