I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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