Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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