Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online