I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
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so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
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Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I will pee on everything he values.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho