We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park