just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
