this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize