you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Randomize
