This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
