When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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