"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
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Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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