I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
