your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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