HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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