i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
