she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
