Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
