sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
