how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
