I have demons in me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
