I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
