It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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