I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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