Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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