So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
