2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
