he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
