everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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