Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
