Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This baby is an asshole
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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