I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
