hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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