GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
