You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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