I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize