And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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