My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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