I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
