Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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