Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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