we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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