Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
