bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
well you can't waste a boner
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
