there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
